The Mediterranean Saga

I had never been to a Mediterranean Restaurant before.Never before had i tasted dishes with funny names that I could hardly spell.This was my first..!!It all happened on last Saturday.
After a week long hiatus we finally agreed to meet up at Zoe,Indira Nagar on Saturday 6.30pm to celebrate Seena's b'day.This one line action item  though it sounds simple was formulated after a weeks negotiation.With this one event I made the discovery that  
 "its always tough to plan things with female event managers".Well.. in this case it was Ms.Merin and I was her accomplice:D.
Seena's b'day was on the 23rd.Since 23rd being a weekday, the scope of a b'day bash was ruled out.Merin being her room mate and who claims to be Seena's 'kudos mate' :D, volunteered to organise a grand b'day treat for Seena.
I was @ barista doping my nerves with the drag of Classic, when Merin came up with the suggestion of Moccha as the hangout place for Seena's b'day .My face turned to a grin.I felt like asking her "Dude are you fucking serious..??".Moccha the name that is synonymous with 
HOOKAH..!!.For a minute I imagined myself sitting there on the roof top of Moccha with the chocolate flavoured calean by my side.For those who don't know what a hookah/calean is -"its an oriental tobacco pipe with a long flexible tube connected to a container where the smoke is cooled by passing through water."
I was damn elated,its been nearly six months since I have had a feel of hookah..
But my elation didnt last long. :(
Merin had been to that place before and she was more interested in the coffee shop on the ground floor of moccha than the smoky hookah place upstairs and she was planning to host the party there on the ground floor..!!
"Da its a bit expensive over there.The last time we went it cost us 500 for four people.All we had was four glasses of fruit juice." she said
Fuck..!! I couldn't digest the scene of me spending 100 bucks over a glass of fruit juice when i could get a Hookah for an extra 100.And how will i stay focused on the table seeing the some lucky morons smoking upstairs above me.!!
That marked the end of the Moccha plan.
Since my thoughts were biased by Hookah,I suggested Paramount Roof Top,since that was the alternate hookah paradise in bangalore.And I was damn confident that she was unaware of that. :D.
"If we can get a corner table for 10, it would be fantastic.The view is superb.Its a damn cool place to be." I said
But..  my Hookah dreams were abnegated by her reflex query"Is it mandatory to order Hookah if we go there.??"
Fuck. How the hell did she know that..!!
"Err..its not mandatory its at your disposal" I said.
"Ok .. in that case we will fix Paramount" she said.
God.. this is going to be a bigger torture than Moccha ground floor.There the Hookah accessibility was a floor above and here the accessibility was the adjacent table!!.I was bloody doomed.
Merry Merin the event manager prepared a list of the guests for Saturday night.She did her best to get the cell phone numbers of Seena's classmates.She presumed that Seena was unaware of the plot.:D. The day and the venue was informed to all the delegates.
On the eve of the event ie on Friday she came up to me and said 
"Da the thing is couple of my friends have been to Paramount roof top lately.They said like.. the place is too smoky and so they had to leave.I think its better that we shift the venue."
"Dude do one thing we will go over to the place once and check it" I replied.
"Yea that would be fine" she said.
Since Merry Merin being a workaholic,she failed to step out of office on time to catch 201-R Volvo to Paramount.
Worried Merin was on the verge of a breakdown when she called up Saturday morning;the place wasn't finalised.Luckily Nilesh bai came to the rescue suggesting Zoe the Mediterranean Restaurant at 100Ft.The venue was fixed finally.By 12pm on Saturday,I got an sms notification from Merin with the venue details and the reporting time.
Since on Friday I received a personal invitation from my Manager for his daughters birthday,I told Merin that I'd be a bit late for the party.I had ordered the b'day cake at Cakewalk but I forgot to mention that it was to be made without egg.Event manager Merin 
however made a call to Cakewalk and changed it to eggless.It was all finally set.
Riddi dropped me at my Managers place at 6.30
"Dude be here.I will be back in 5 minutes.Keep yourself busy on the phone with X ;)"i said
"Man don't keep me waiting for long" Riddi replied
"No dude.Don't worry my watch is perfectly running on time :D" i replied back 
By the time I stepped out of Managers flat after his daughters b'day party it was 7.20.By this time I had ignored 5 calls and 4 text messages from Riddi.I was right my watch was running perfectly on time I had kept him waiting outside for a little more than 5 minutes err.. approximately 50 minutes.
We hurried to the Zoe,lucky enough to find the last three pieces of the chocolate cake reserved for us.The guests had arrived and the cake cutting and smearing was over.. :(
A fancy menu listing the house dishes was passed on to each of us.Since I had trouble spelling those names in the menu,Ms.Dependable Merin who had been to Mediterranean Restaurants 
before ordered Venitican Grilled chicken for me.The name sounded sumptuous.
The silent soothing ambience of the Zoe transformed to a college clamor,loud laughs and camera flashings since it was a reunion of a group after a long time.
I was in a discussion with Rahul bai when my mobile flashed a text message from Raph


        -:Dude there was a slight confusion in the cake delivery.
            Its not egg less!!Will that be a problem?


I was sitting couple of chairs away from him.So I texted him back 
        -:It won't be a problem unless you announce it now on this table. 
           we will make a public announcement in my blog.Howzat ??:D


We exchanged 'keep your mouth shut' glances with eachother and resorted to the gossip session.
The Ventician Grilled chicken was there in front of me in ten minutes.Though the name was lengthy, it took hardly 5 minutes for me to gulp the last bit of it.God .. it  was a nutritional privation in terms of quantity.But I was lucky to have had a 'hands on' all the dishes that were ordered that night since I was at the first end of the table.

Merry Merin the lady of the day made it a point to pay the bill on her credit.Seems she will have to cut down her shopping hopes this month to save herself from that bill calamity.We huddled for a photo session after the dinner and then dispersed at 9.30.
Cheers and Thanks to all the folks who graced the occasion with their presence and Credits to Merin, the event manager.Hope that she continue to practise her event management skills and that too on her CREDIT..!!

Sharane's Axe Effect

Chocolates are always tempting so was the AXE Chocolate AD.
"The chocolate man, the 21st century reincarnation of the piped piper of Hameln,walking down the street.., followed not by swarm of rats but by a band of girls."
I was at home getting geared for my first trip to Bangalore when I saw the Ad for the first time on TV.
"You better close your mouth son.. !!"Amma said as I was staring at the TV open mouthed watching the ladies going gaga over the Chocolate man.I imagined myself running on the streets of Bangalore chased by "you know who..".That 65 second AD was seducing enough to list my name among the first patrons of the AXE Chocolate.. yea I got smitten by the AXE bug.. :P
Amma sensed my thought process and came up with her reflex conclusion
"I don't think it will be good.Dark Chocolates have a sour taste..!.I don't think it will make a good perfume"
"Amma its not a perfume its a deodorant" I replied
"Whatever be it son.. better don't buy it"she replied back.
Amma knew that I was craving for a bottle of the AXE and she knew that my intentions were the same as the chocolate guy in the AD.:D.She never wanted her son to tread the path which she belived was sin and which her moron son believed was salvation.May be it was her prayers or may be because Alleppey was too outdated for the AXE,I couldn't get a bottle even after two days of search.
My bag was ready stuffed with steam ironed shirts,trousers,biscuits and all the other accessories for my bangalore stay.Amma made it a point to make a chart of all the items that she had stuffed in my bag so that I don't face trouble in finding them.It was pretty long.!!
But still I felt that my heavy backpack was missing something.Yea I was right..,the AXE was missing.. :(.With a heavy heart I climbed up the airplane ladder to board the flight to bangalore..!!
My first weekend in bangalore was dedicated exclusively for the AXE Chocolate search,but adding to my dismay I couldn't get one.Each time the AD popped up on TV,my heart pounded faster.I believed that the root cause of my TIMELESSNESS was the absence of AXE.
"When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true".You must have read this in one of Cohelo's books.It remained as a paradox from the day I read it.To me it never appeared to be true.Its because each time I gave my uni exams,I made a genuine wish to get a 7.5 but never was my wish fructified.
But...for the first time, the saying saved me from yet another dismay.My hopes of running on the streets of bangalore revived when Sharane returned after his vaccation with a brand new AXE Chocolate.Sharane had seen the AD too.. :P.
Now it was time for the AXE Effect.The first month went by with each of us sharing that single bottle of AXE from Sharanee..but nothing changed..!!Then we decided to have separate bottles and slightly increased dosage to procure a better chance of being followed.But again nothing changed..!!
Since desperation being directly proportional to dosage,it augmented to such a level that from one bottle we moved to two bottles a month.The monthly allocation for cologne grew at an exponential rate than my annual increment.
Six months.. 12 bottles of AXE Chocolate 150 per bottle..,dosage twice a day..; but my expectation of a bee line still remained as an EXPECTATION..!!.The sight of empty bottles in the cupboard made me restless.I could sense the axed feeling.I was bloody tricked..!!.I 
felt sad for having spend a huge sum for no good.
Our house which was the voracious consumer of the AXE products six months back lost its prodigy.
But Sharane..wasn't ready to give up.He believed that patience was the key.He kept faith in AXE.The news about Vaibav Dev filing petition against AXE products hardly deterred his faith.Sharane continued using AXE..!!
Sharane was at Hyderabad for his team mate's wedding last weekend.He did carry his AXE..:). I was at home spending my valuable time glued in front of the TV.It was then the new AXE ad popped up for the first time.The ad portrayed the same ladies gaga theme,but this time it was not the axe man who spelled the ladies but a 'non-AXE user' who was 
standing next to the AXE man.The AXE field effect on a non-AXE user.!!
Wow..!!This sounds cool.A zero investement returns granted policy.But who will be the AXE man..??Me buying a new bottle of AXE and using and asking Riddi to stay near me to experience the AXE field effect wasn't a wise choice.My mind went fishing the possible options..
EUREKA..!!gotcha..
Sharane... the consistent , the lone AXE user.
Its time for the Sharane AXE Effect..!!Sharane using the AXE and me sticking with him to experience the AXE field effect .. :D.Hope this time the Ad turns true..!!

GOD and DICE

Monday 12:30 pm


Raph :"Da i dont think she will be coming.. :("
Riddi :"Guys i really dont know whats wrong with these girls.. "
Me :"sob.. sob.. :("


Dont be embarrassed reading the chat lines.This is just one of the our mundane concerns but unfortunately the most worrying one.Its been 14 months here in Bangalore all we could manage was..
a bike trip with 18 boys and a girl, 
a place amidst two crowded tables of girls at PURPLE HAZE but none at ours.., 
thirty minute wait in front of Le-ROCK on a friday evening owing to the absence of that extra GENRE..,
the sad "happy to be single" dinner at the Spirit Lounge on the eve of Feb14th.., 
the lone walk on the Brigade on  New Years Day..,
a complete row in INOX without an estrogen emitting element in it... !!!


Yea.. i know.. its SAD but its a FACT..!!


One worried night when this issue was raised by Sharanee to the notice of the "Timeless Ten", Sajan, the 'once upon a TIME' man proposed his famous
"God and Dice Theory.."
As per the God and Dice Theory, the male population on the globe is the conglomeration of groups of ten each.The group formation depends on the individual effort of a person to screw/wow his exams which earns him the tag of lazy/good, which  finally puts him into the 
bad/nice gang.The team tag/activity is the cumulation of the tag/activity of the team members which means that the tag/activity of the team intensifies on cumulation.Good makes the team 'more good' and the lazy makes the team 'awfully bad' :P.Once the team is 
bonded,now its time for the minority resource allocation.Since the good always deserve the best, each good group was allocated one ravishing minority resource each which created a scarcity of the minority resource for the rest.Too little resources for too many 'awfully bad groups' made God to implement the most whackiest idea of The Dice.The group who gets the call will get the resource.. and the rest is .....'ed!!!!
Well that sums up the theory.. 
This theory though its a bit complicated in black and blue, represents the root cause of our adversity.None of the loafers in our team of ten failed to make a proper call when GOD threw the DICE..!!
Some say that work is workship.I'd rather quote it as work is my tranquillizer..I bet for all the software geeks with googles its the same.They resort to tranquillizers because they failed to call the DICE.
Monday mornings do have a lassitude assosciated with it.I tried hard to evade the feeling by imagining the positive side of monday..."wow..4 more days to friday.!!" but the loafer in me corrected the line .."oh..man damn its 4 more days again to friday."
Luckily Riddi came up with and idea and pinged over IM


[Monday 12:00pm]

Riddi :Da how about meeting our junior from college

me :Da i haven't seen her.Why don't you ask Merin to invite her

               for lunch :D

Riddi :Fuck man.. thats awesome!! ;-)

me :yea i know.. 

Riddi invited Merin to the convo
Riddi :Merin how about we calling the junior for lunch
Merin :She is a very soft spoken kinda girl.Doesn't talk much.She'll be frightened to see a        group joining her for lunch
me :Call
Merin :OK..!!
Riddi :waw ;-)


Merin invited the Junior to the convo
Merin :Hai.. hows work
Jnr :Hi cheechi. works is hectic.Have to learn a lot
Riddi :Hi.. do you know me.. ??
Jnr :mm.. Ridish :)
Riddi : :-) so you have seen me at college.. gud ;-)
Jnr :I'm sorry I haven't seen you.The name is there on the IM.. :-)
Riddi :oh.. that's funny.. i like it.. :D
Merin :Are you busy..??how about meeting up at cafeteria for lunch?
Riddi :Yea.. You'll get to see me too :D
Jnr :I'm busy.Have a presentation.Will meet up some other day.
Riddi :oh..ok then carry on.Work is workship.Have a great day
Jnr :Thnks :-)


And that proved the theory once again.:(
Raph :"why its happening to us alone..?"
Riddi :"trust me fellas.. its not my influence"
me :"Guys THIS IS THAT"
Riddi :"What..??"
Raph :"God and DICE.. :(  "

Discovery of the Weekend:- "The CUTENESS of a girl is directly proportional to the UGLINESS of her best friend.!!"

It all began on friday evening with the Paris Hilton starrer "The Hottie and the The Nottie".
Riddi and me had plans to start the weekend with FUEL,Lemon Slice and Salt,but Riddi backed out at the very last minute as he had to drop Raph at Madiwala.But I just couldn't stop 
cerebrating the thought of Fuel,in a high ball glass,tinted with fine salt on the edges and a lemon wedge to sip.Wise people like Me and Einstein can hardly resist temptation.But taking a Fuel bottle in full and that too alone wasn't a viable idea..Hence I ditched my Fuel dreams for a date with the dark brown translucent bottle of MALT BEVERAGE.. labelled FOSTERS.
Two bottles of beer can make me happy, three can make me go whacky..but i had neither two nor three but ONE.. which made me half happy and half sleepy.
And there I sat with the empty bottle mulling about the rpm of the fan spinning above me."I had nothing else to do..!! :)."
Riddi was filing his online application so I couldn't fish on the net for UPDATES nor watch "Mandy and the Candy" the "ACTION" movie downloaded last week ;).
The door bell rang.It was Sharaa.Luckily he had his laptop too..Hurray..!!.
"Da plug in the charger before you switch on the lap and you can take the blue usb.I have copied couple of movies in that."Sharaa said.
Since I was running on a high reaction time owing to FOSTERS,it took me a couple of seconds to comprehend the sentence in full.I switched on the laptop, plugged in the charger and the usb.Sharaa had a collection of movies on the usb.I scrolled over the list.. none of them seemed to strike a familiar chord with my 2009 movie database.
I have this habit of watching the movies with funny names and the irony is that none of them turned out to be FUNNY..!!The typical ones where "I know what you did last SUMMER",which i expected to be a sex comedy deprived me of sleep for two days;"The number 23",which I belived was a baseball movie jinxed me to see 23 everywhere for 3 
days..But my spirit to pick movies by name hardly abated.So this time too my decision was biased.I picked "Hottie and Nottie".
I double-clicked on the avi file, the screen went black.I was waiting for the Colombia-Tristar to pop up,but even after 2 minutes it still stayed dark.It was then i noticed the red light flashing..out of charge..!!.I had plugged in the charger cable but the switched was not turned ON..!!Mm.. yeah the FOSTERS was working on ME.
I ignored the "ominous start" warning because it wasn't the first time.The movie was about a guy(Joel Moore) meeting up with his childhood girl friend(Paris Hilton) after 10 years,too unfortunate to find that she was still lingering with her ugly best friend from school.Though the director wanted it to be a fun movie, the actors did their best to deliver the worst of the performace.The expression less face of Ms.Hilton and the untimely dialogues of Joel made my 
evening from bad to worse.All I could really focus in the movie was the dialogue from Joel "The cuteness of a girl is directly proportional to the ugliness of her best friend..".
He recited those lines so often that by the end of the movie I learned it by heart..!
Having had a boring start to a weekend,I decided to step out on the road for a fag.Riddi joined me.It was 10.45 pm when I took in the first drag to ease my brain for having had a wrong pick this time too.We were standing next to the CCD near MALABAR.The CCD was still open.Sometimes I feel that my eye muscles are involuntary..its because each time I stand in front of APPEALING places like CCD's there is always this tendency to peep inside.:D.. yea its kinda uncontrollable..!! I peeped in through the tinted glass.It wasn't crowded though it was a friday night.There at the right end on the red couch was this girl in an orange bubble top,sipping hot chocolate smiling and chatting with the guy sitting opposite to her.. she had 
dimples too.. she was just awesome.Me and Riddi as usual stood outside gaping..!!From the way they talked,it was quite obvious that the "sparkles where in the air" and the "angles where playing the harp","waiting for cupid to bend the bow".She was laughing uncontrollably.In a desparate attempt to control it she leaned back on the couch..


"Fuck man .. look at her.!!"Riddi said
Sitting next to that gorgeous girl in orange on the same couch was another girl,a potential SUMO fighting prospect for India engulfing the last bit of the Chicken Croissant,which I belive the guy must have ordered for his girl.As we stood there, all three of them stepped out of CCD.The girl was walking behind her friend and the guy I belive was about to tell her that he'd drop her home.But throwing cold water on all their plans her SUMO girl pal pulled her hand and took her on her car..The guy stood there waving them good night.. !!
I felt a tremor down the spine.I could hear Joel saying "The cuteness of a girl is proportional to the ugliness of her best friend..!!"in my head.Yea my wrong choice was haunting me again.God.. I'm witnessing the dialogue enacted in real.!!The gorgeous orange girl 
with her nefarious SUMO pal.. Shit..WTF.
I laid back on my bed.. i couldn't sleep..rolled sideways and finally dug my head underneath the pillow so as to save myself from nightmares..!!
Saturday morning was fine..Woke up at 11.Hence I decided to skip breakfast for an early lunch at Clay Pot.Me Riddi and Sharaa reached Clay Pot at 1.10.We got the penultimate table on the second row.Sharaa and Riddi went to the wash meanwhile i settled on the chair.We placed our orders and anticipated for the dishes to furnish the table in front.. :P
There on the left row was the ORACLE girl,the fabulous looking,fair skinned,curly hair whom I had seen couple of times in our tech park. She was there,sitting opposite to me on my left side table.She had come for lunch with her pal i belive.I couldn't see the person who was sitting opposite to her since Riddi was blocking my view.Food arrived..I had to pay the price of my involuntary gape because owing to a lack of concentration own my food,I mixed payasam insted of daal with rice..!!
"Rice with paayasam is awesome guys..!!You should try it once.. :P"
I kept my blunder concealed because I din't want the two loafers sitting with me to create a havoc and embarass ME and that too in front of a girl..
Finally i accomplished the task of gulping rice and payasam and got up to wash.I went past her,ignoring the other girl sitting opposite to her.Washed my hand,turned around to take a tissue.I looked at the table where she was sitting..I was facing her back.. I looked at the 
girl pal sitting opposite her..My head spinned..!!
I could hear Joel playing harp,running around on my head,giggling at me and reciting his lines.. "The cuteness of a girl is directly proportional to the ..............."
No..Please.. no more wrong picks anymore.. Stop Haunting ME..!!!

Viggu bai's Singapore Strategy won the first approval..

Sunday lunch was pretty heavy with steaming rice, rasam and spiced- fried seer fish.Having done nothing other than lunching ;) the entire day,Viggu bai sat in front of the PC and logged into orkut.Viggu bai turned around to see the others gaping at him in a semi sleepy state after a hectic workout at the Claypot Restaurant.The room was alarmingly silent as none had the vim to frame meaningful sentences in their ultra drowsy brain.

Gluttony should be made a CRIME.!!

Since it being a Sunday and on Sundays the only topic of discussion being "TIMELESSNESS",Sharaa somehow managed to say the word "TIMELESSNESS".Hearing this Yashin bai sprang up from bed and said..

"Da type itinerant in the search tab and click on the profile that appears first in the search..".Viggu bai followed.The profile appeared,having 134 photos.

Since the monitor crossed the 15 centimeter deadline from my bed and since I was not wearing my reading glasses,I just couldn't make out the face on the profile picture.The other eagle eyed losers huddled in front of the monitor as Viggu bai opened the album.The room echoed with the Inglorious comments about the guy in the picture.I ran to get my glasses from the other room.

I managed to find my glasses and craned my neck to look at the monitor.."God... a potential "DOG BOY" a Snoop Dog lookalike amidst a band of beautiful girls".Shit man..!What the hell is happening.Why is God being so unfair.. !!

Viggu bai browsed through the photos in his album.Each new photo was welcomed with a sigh of distress.The last one was an absolute hair raiser with the DOG BOY in a bubble bath with his Brazilian Girl friends.. captioned 
"They never make me miss my BATH.!!".
I and the remaining TIMELESS guys felt like epitomes of FIASCO, like  peniless kids gaping at the ice cream seller for a free ice cream. :(
I lost my interest sleep,i felt like doing a free fall from the balcony.If there was a crash course on "Becoming a TIME MAN", I would have mugged up the lessons well in advance and would have topped the batch..
I desperately need some serious mentoring... and luckily the others too felt the same.. i'd COMPANY..!! :-)
The topic finally drifted to Singapore trip and the TIME prospects there.Viggu bai was still lingering with orkut, typing in something in the search tab and clicking.Viggu bai seemed very much involved in the activity.I moved forward to see what actually was he doing.I could see a list of people on the screen in front and he was scanning the list with the precision of a watchmaker. I knew he too lacked a proper TIME and that he too was desperate to have a good TIME.But what has a list got to do with it??.I took a closer look at the list... there was something common in the list.Yea.. its common for all the people in the list.. ALL OF THEM ARE GIRLS..!!


"Dude are all these your friends..how did you manage to get friends with so many.. ??"I asked.
Viggu bai smiled back and resorted to scanning again.May be he must be searching for an old school friend or is it something else.. What is he up to ..??It was then the place name striked me .. the place too was common to all the people in the list.. its SINGAPORE..!!
"Man how come you have so many friends and that too girls at Singapore..Da introduce me to some of them .. :-)"I made a genuine request.
Viggu bai smiled back again..!!Why the hell is he smiling..I looked up at the status bar and the search bar below it to find it populated with the search string "Female+Single+Singapore". and before i could really digest that Viggu bai opened up the notepad and typed in..
 "Hi I'm Vignesh from b'lore.. I'm planning to visit S'pore smtime in Jan.Hey..Can you help 
me with the toursit spots there.. :-)".
He scrolled to select the entire text that he had typed in,right clicked chose copy,drifted back to the orkut list,chose a girl holding a Calvin Klein Mug -Vishita,female,single,Singapore,clad in a stripped top and blue jeans,opened up her profile,clicked on add as friend.. the request tab opened up one more right click and chose paste..the typed text in the notepad populated the request window,clicked on send.!!!!!!!


Shit man ..!! He is fishing for Singles at Singapore..!!"Man you are a genius..!!".I could see the victorious smile of an aspiring Einstein who's idea just won a millionaire patent.Yea his idea was worth patenting..and that was apparent by sight of a beeline behind the chair waiting to try out the Viggu bai Strategy..!!I had to fight with Sharane to try my luck implementing the Viggu bai Strategy..


Viggu bai managed to send request to 15 of them in Singapore and 12 in Malaysia.On Monday Viggu bai checked his open friends request in the orkut window..:( its still hasn't decreased..none has approved his friends request so far..which means they haven't approved my request either..Damn.!!
There was no sign of diminution on Tuesday too.Viggu bai felt desperate.Having patented the idea... I too felt desperate.!! :(
I was in the middle of execution on Wednesday when Viggu bai pinged me a link.I opened up.It was the profile of Vishita.. the girl in the stripped T-shirt and blue jeans with the Calvin Klein mug..
"Da don't worry I haven't missed her..She was the first person in Singapore to whom i had sent a friends request.." I pinged back.
"Dude its not that..!!"Viggu replied
"Then..???"I pinged back 
"Guess.."Viggu pinged
"What..??"Me pinged
"She has approved my friends request man ..!!!"Viggu replied

OMG..!! Viggu bai got his first approval and that too INTERNATIONAL.

Now its my turn ..!!Am WAITING..for that one-click on APPROVE..  ;-)

Yippee.. Gtalk finally..

Owing to the traffic congestion on Gtalk and Gmail Server during Office hours,the facilities team here had imposed some kind of filter on gtalk and gmail chat window since last month.Imagine the plight of a company where half its employees squander their time chatting with FRIENDS on GTalk and that too group chats.

"Tell me.. be honest..How many of you guys check your office mails prior to your gmail and yahoo inbox once you reach office?? :P".

The funniest part is that some of them don't even bother to keep the chat ping on mute.You can hear the ting-ting sound the whole day.
My personal embarassing moment was when my gtalk betrayed me during the code review.My Manager was standing next to me checking the code changes that I  had made ; and by mistake I had dint change the status on the gtalk window.Mr.Tintumon seeing me online, pinged me.I dint respond.He kept on pinging like hell and the chat popped up like Soap bubbles from a bubble machine..!!Lucky that he maintained a sense of dignity in the chat.. Thank GOD.. and Thank Tintu..!!

People don't complain if the internal office messenger is down; but if the google server goes down for a minute, you can see them standing up and asking the person at the adjacent cube if its fine there.This is the height of ADDICTION.!!
And I'm no different from them. :D
I rarely go offline.I remember it was only once when I had to shift the system to 6th floor the status icon went GREY..!!

The usage of Gtalk,orkut,gmail,facebook,twitter,yahoo the six senses of an idle.. oops sorry ideal  professional was a liberty here at our office till September.But active orkutting,facebooking and chatting during office hours turned this LIBERTY into LIABILITY for the management.And finally one fine September morning, the gtalk login failed.I could hear the desparate clicks on the RETRY tab to login to gtalk, because i too was doing the same.The place resounded with the melancholic mouse clicks.!!But none emerged victorious.And they concluded "Damn.. They have blocked chatting here..!!".

But one lucky moron managed to crack the firewall.That was Mr.Riddi..!!Unlike the others Riddi din't give up.He tried the next day and the day after the next and finally one fine afternoon when the midday nap hit the Network room Riddi managed to login.Riddi as usual concluded his heroic effort with the hypothesis "Try it after 2.30 you will succeed.!!".
But as usual the Riddi effect reflected in the hypothesis too.(Ridd effect will be explained sometime later owing to its expasivity and complexity.)I and the rest of the gtalk thrivers tried.. but failed miserably.We lost our part time entertainment, people stopped laughing, the melancholic keyboard strokes transformed into angry thumping, the ting-ting sounds stopped ringing and finally people started WORKING..and the quarter results showed the corporate loss DECREASING..!!"God what a turn around..!!"

Finally Diwali arrived.People in a frantic desperation applied for a weeks leave to meet their gtalk chat mates in person.Happy Riddi who was still chatting merrily with his  chat mates too  applied for leave since he had to get his GRE applications ready.Riddi prior to leaving home on Thursday evening decided to switch off his PC to save power which in turn saves money for our company.

Back after a sleepy weekend,I reached office late as usual on Monday morning.Empty parking lot, deserted cafeteria and missing telephone rings typified that a majority was on vacation."God how am I going to survive this week in an empty work space with a  NOT RESPONDING gtalk ...Save me from this CALAMITY".For one last time I clicked on the Gtalk icon .. typed in the user id and my encoded super secret password..and clicked ... loading..loading.. did I see the green button ..??? yea its the green button flashing.. ONLINE.. !!

What do you think is the reason for the gtalk failure..??I need a response from you guys.. Why do you think the others weren't able to login when Riddi was online.??Why do you think his hypothesis proved wrong?Why do you think I was able to login after Riddi switched off his PC?

Well this is called the "Riddi Effect.."

SINGAPORE'd...

You may think its CRAZY.. Yea I know it is in fact a bit crazy.. for an onlooker.But for the bunch of lads staying with me,its a ROUTINE AFFAIR.We live on the verge of Insanity,Entropy and Slaphappy.
Let me ask you "Have you ever decided to go on an international trip in 10 minutes.. ??;-) if not I'll tell you how to do that.. :P"
It was 10pm,while we were having food at MALABAR,Mr.Thampan called up and said "Guys,there is a flight package to Singapore-Malaysia..to and fro at 3400Rs!!Interested ??"
"I think we all can make it to Singapore this time..Come on guys let's do it"Mr.Sajan said.


I'm lucky to have joined the group wchich rarely plans things ahead.I understand that "a fail to plan is a plan to fail",but the problem with people like me and the group that i hangout with is that we're too LAZY to stick to a  plan.Imagine it was without an itinerary and no advance hotel room booking that we went on a holiday to Goa in March'09.All we had was a google map printout of Goa and a single contact number and that too out of reachability area..lol..;D But still we managed to get a good villa, the cheapest sea ride and the finest inn and the best of the hookah's and that too on the sea side.
"Isn't that awesome..??".
Trust me.. if you plan your holiday then there is no point in calling it a holiday.Try not assosciating a routine with it, go thoroughly unplanned,erase all your judgements about the places that you are about to see, and then.. i bet it will be a memorable one. 


At 11.45pm Thampan called up again and said "The booking window will open at 12 sharp and only very few people are aware of this offer.I think we can get ample seats."
"Oh.. man the airtel guys haven't shifted our modem from our old flat.We won't be able to get online from our new place." I replied.


Finally we decided to go over to Sajan's place.Late night ride to Domlur.On the way i called up Spar and informed him about the offer."Da am IN..!!" Spar replied.This is the homogeneousness that prevails in our group.You call up anyone,even in the middle of the night, tell them the most inviable and the most whackiest of the ideas, they will still stand with you.
"Cheers guys..You are truly special!!"
We assembled at Sajan's house at 12.10am, the ten of us.Checked the site for booking details and the travel charges.Thampan was right, the package was for 3400Rs UBELIEVABLE..!!.
Riddi went throught the info to book the tickets online.Since we din't have much experience infact zero experience on "International" flight booking,we were not aware of the fact that a passport number was mandatory to book the tickets.Owing to this Mr.Yashin backed out 
as he was not having a passport.That lazy chap din't bother to apply for one even after college.!!Passport is something that's considered to be a vestige in my place.Many of them haven't applied for it solely because they feel that they don't deserve a chance to go aboard.But luckily my company HR saved me from the trend by mandating its requirement for my joining.


Clock ticked 12.30 and we hadn't booked our tickets since none had their passport with them.
"You guys wait here.I will get your passports"Mr.Rapheal said.


Meanwhile we made a rough estimate of the possible expenses.We finalised the idea of each person carrying two bags,a backpack of clothes and the regular accessories plus a handbag 
stuffed with MAGGY packets and a hot plate..:P "Perfect isn't it !!"This we felt can cut down the expense exponentially and save money for the PUBS and PARLOURS.. lol.. 
The next main concern was the accommodation.
Mr Sajan said "Guys I may not be there with you for two days during our Singapore visit.My 
FRIEND has asked me to come over since she's "FREE" then..PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND ME..!! :P"."This lucky moron is running on INTERNATIONAL TIME..!!".


Riddi and Raphel returned with a bunch of passports and we resorted to booking tickets.Riddi is a man who finds pleasure in taking responsibilities like booking tickets,framing aggreement letters and all those stuff that require pre-READING.
"Dude if you weren't there with us your life would have been miserable..oops .. sorry our 
life".So this time too he volunteered and we readily agreed to give him the responsilbility of booking tickets and that too with his Credit Card..


The discussion about the accomodation heated up again.Finally Rapheal said "Da I remember my brother mentioning about some hostel kind of thing which is setup specially for student travellers.Its very cheap there.Its called the backpackers hostel.It's a dormitory wherein you 
can drink and droll and dance with damsels from around the globe".
"OMG we'll go there then..!!;-)"we all shouted in unison.

AND FINALLY at 1.20am Riddi managed to book 10 tickets for JAN 23,2010 on AIR ASIA boarding from EKM to Singapore..

We are going international this time....
 to GET international....,
                                                                         with a 3 line itinerary ...

:PUBS : PARLORS  :BACKPACKERS HOSTEL..!!

The potential advantage of having a name starting with "V"

It's Diwali Weekend.. and we haven't received any surprise  mails yet!!This was the topic of discussion for the past couple of days.Mr.Sai my team mate said that since its recession time,it might have reflected in the gift distribution too..
Even when people say that they really don't think that this time there will be any gift distribution happening,its quite obvious that in the back of their mind they pray and crave for the opposite..I represent that desperate majority!!.
Today being the last working day before Diwali the chances of Diwali gift surprise mail has narrowed down to 10%.I just couldn't accept this ignorance from the HR dept.Last time we got a BIG BOX of Cardbury Celebration as Diwali Gift.The problem with a gift distribution ceremony is that people like me believe it to be a custom from then on.. :-)
The only time when you keep a constant eye on your watch is when you are anticipating for something..Its almost 12 and I had given up all hopes of taking home a Diwali Gift this time.
Approximately at 12.35 my inbox ticked with a mail addressed to MSGBLR(addressed to all the staff in our Bangalore Office).BINGO..!! "Diwali Gift Distribution at Cafeteria @ 3pm.."
"Dude what do you think it will be this time"Mr Madhu asked.
"Man.. since we are Recession hit,i bet this time it will be Cardbury Gems instead of Cardbury Celebrations.." i replied.
Mr Madhu had to leave at 4pm to Chennai so he was getting a bit impatient.
"Dude can you collect my Diwali Gift too..??" he asked.
"Man people were carrying multiple gift boxes last time.. and there are rumors that it was during last Diwali that our company incurred maximum loss.They had spend more amount on Diwali Gift than the month end salary that time.1500 plus gift boxes were issued to 450 plus employees.. So this time on.., i bet there will be some kind of RF id tracker at the cafeteria entrance to embarass people if they carry more boxes than expected.." i replied.
Mr Madhu on hearing this decided to wait till 3pm to collect his Diwali Gift.
"Don't Worry..Go over to the cafeteria around 2.55, you will be the first person to collect the gift" i consoled him.
After a heavy lunch at the Clay Pot we got back to office at 2.20.
"Dude let me fill my timesheets we'll go over to cafeteria at 2.50 sharp"Mr Madhu said.
I had nothing much to do since my execution target for the week was met on thursday itself..I'm very systematic..lol.. I remigrated to the act of reading cnet reviews and the open eye sleep.
"Ting..Ting ..Ting.. " My IM window was pinging messages from Madhu..
"Dude chek your IM list..!!"the message said..I opened up the IM contact list scrolled down to my team list.God .. only two status icons in green..Myself and Madhu..!! All the others are Away..!! 
" This is the height of impatience..!!"
We ran to the lift lobby and pressed the down button, but couldn't get into any of the lift  since all of them where overloaded.We decided to take the stairs and that was a mistake..!!
I haven't been for a Rajini movie first day show before.. but Madhu said its pretty much like the one at the cafeteria.Long.. progressing cavalcade in front of the name boards tagged A-Z to collect the Diwali Gift.The one in front of the M-P section was the longest; having crossed a double loop.Madhu made it to the last of the queue.
I couldn't see the V nameboard anywhere near,but having seen the long queue in front of the others I assumed it to be a long one there  too.
"Man you stay in the queue i'm leaving.. i'll get my box later" i said to Madhu.
"Dude if you want the Diwali Gift this time you better stand in the queue.Else there are chances that someone else may claim your gift.. :P"Madhu replied.
Having a name starting with V had always given me trouble in my school days.Being "V"'ed I had to wait till the end to get my answer sheets and report cards.Waiting was not a problem but the hardest part was the burning tension inside and the cold feet which made me sweat till my turn.I hardly found a solution for that.I tried hiding behind the desk,closing my eyes and tapping my foot to deviate my attention from the answer sheet but it hardly helped.
The more I tried to ignore it , the faster my heart pounded..!!
My past "V" alphabet experiences revived and tarnished my thoughts to expect a catastrophe this time too.I looked around for the "V" board.I could see it hanging at the very end of the cafeteria, but I couldn't see the queue in front of it.I moved lazily towards the name board.. expecting a BIG line there..
GOD..!! this is fantastic.. There is hardly five people standing in the queue there at the "V" board.I rechecked the board.Yea its "V".This is just awesome.For the first time I felt lucky to have a name starting with "V".Proud to be "V"'ed ;)

The forgetful bird will always miss the Bus.!!

Yesterday Oct 14th was the Global Day of Service(GDS) here in our office.The volunteer enrollment forms were issued long back in September precisely on the 15th of September.
FLAAAAASHBAACK....
The very day I received the volunteer enrollement form for GDS, as usual I did my routine screening on it,pressed CTRL +DEL to ensure that it doesn't stay in my vicinity anymore.
But my Mentor Motivator Mr.Hulk convinced me to enroll for it.
"Stand up and volunteer, this is your chance man.You don't get to do something like this very often.. You are a social animal and you have an obligation to the society.. Do it..now " Hulk said.
This ignited the "Social Responsibility" spirits in me and it overhauled the levels of laziness and finally I decided to register.. 
But having deleted the enrollement mail, I couldn't ask him to forward me the same to enroll because if I had done that he would have slapped me on my face..!!.So I asked Mr.Madhu if he had the enrollement mail with him.
"Dude are you mad.. I think I deleted that mail the very moment it popped up " Madhu replied.
For people like us "Ignorance is Bliss.."
I thought "its my chance to awaken the social service spirits in him..".So I bestowed Hulk's dialogue spiced with my own emotions to him and came back to my seat.
In five minutes my outlook inbox flashed "Fw : FW: GDS Enrollment" Sender: Madhu. 
"God .. is it because my speech was inspiring enough or did he sleep half way through the speech.. ??".
Finally both of us enrolled for GDS -Recycle Wing that had vaccany for only two volunteers from our office.
My urge to motivate people din't end up there.I scrubbed through my IM list pinged all of my friends and conveyed the necessity of social concern to all of them.Many of them did register on the very same day.LNK ,Merin ,Ganesh  and RK were among my victim list.I went home with a light heart having done something good.
I received two meeting invites scheduled for the weeks ahead from the head of the GDS-Recycle wing dept.Unfortunately I missed the first one since I had to go home on that weekend.I was confident that I will be able to attend the second one,and hence prior to the meeting day I checked the mail.The meeting was scheduled at 9,Saturday.I reached office at 8.50 AM opened the web session for the meeting and 
clicked on the link."The link is unavailable.." a message appeared on the screen.I checked my watch once again..it was 8.55 AM,i decided to wait for 10 minutes.Finally at 9.10 AM i tried again,but again i got the same message.!!It was then I realized that I hadn't received the meeting reminder alarm from outlook.I checked the outlook calendar for the meeting time and.. I was shocked to see the time on it "9 PM".God.. this is embarrassing..!!
After having deceived by my own PC,I  decided to skip the meeting that day...!! and the flash back ends here.


Yesterday as usual,I woke up late ,but luckily at 8.30.Mr Riddi was already on his canvas to go to gym.I decided to go with him to our office gym.Everything seemed normal on the way.As we took the turn to 
office, there I could see couple of buses lined outside the office.As we entered, many of them in organe T shirts were hurriedly packing their stuff and boarding the buses parked outside, and the buses started moving out of the parking space.

"What is happening man..?" I asked Riddi.
and then I saw Ganesh waving at me from the bus.. he was shouting something and it wasn't clear.. but before I could focus on him ,I read the banner put up behind the last moving bus.. It said "Global Day of Service -Oct 14".
And that marked the end of my Social Obligation. 

Keep the newspaper and toilet the way you expect it to be..!!

Hypothesis proposed by Mr.Riddi at 9am today morning.The reason behind the proposal of this potentially preposterous hypothesis was the sight of the DISMANTLED "The Hindu".Riddi as usual figured out the person behind this.. it was Mr Rapheal,the time man of the moment. The hypothesis was welcomed by the signature "I JUST DON'T CARE" grin from Rapheal coming after the shower in his stripped and "dandruffed" towel.After a couple of rehersals in front of the mirror ; the one which he always does to ensure that his beer belly which he feels is ominous is tightened by a belt to tone it into the stupefying abs.
It was then that Raphel realised that he hasn't brushed his teeth..!!
"All wise men make the same mistake..!!".
Mr Raphel having realised his blunder reached for the empty Pepsodent Tube and strained his muscles to squeze the last molecules of paste from that, but he failed miserably.
Mr Rapheal thought for a moment and then with the EUREKA smile ran into the kitchen and started searching.
"Dude the scissors is not here in the kitchen" Rapheal shouted.Riddi on hearing this, accosted and rephrased his hypothesis a second time..  
"Man Keep the scissors at the place where you expect it to be and not at the balcony.!!!" 

Riddi the Blackberry man of the moment decided to wear his blackberry trousers to office today.After 10 minutes long meticulous and punctilicious ironing,Riddi finally got dressed in his blackberry no wrinkle for today trousers,greased his hair, tucked his formals neatly and literally hosed a bottle of Spar's "Nivea Men's" and came out.I was waiting outside.Riddi checked the shoe stand for his Liberty Black Formal Shoes, since he thought that canvas will look awkward with his blackberry.And it was after a thorough search of the shoe stand from top to bottom, Riddi realised  that Mr Sharan too was in a blackberry today...

 and since "All wise men think alike", he too might have had the same hunch of wearing  the Liberty Black Shoes...and since there was only a single pair of Liberty Black Shoes, its very likely that the person who had the hunch first will wear it first...!!
Finally feeling frustrated on account of this Mr Riddi called up Sharan and rephrased his hypothesis a third time.. 
"Man I have kept my shoes where I expect it to be .. but still i don't find it there..!!!" 

Dude we FAILED again..!!

Today morning i woke up hearing Riddi shouting "Dude we failed again..!!".

It took me a couple of minutes to comprehend what he meant by that.

I looked at my watch  God.. its 9.45 AM. I just couldn't  digest that.I searched for my mobile to have a look at the timer on it.He was right.. "We failed again..!"

I feel that my bio clock is running on US Time.We had plans to go to gym today morning and Riddi had assured me that he will wake me up  at sharp 7.30.But.. as usual his bio timer failed to fire..!!

But I had made the preconditions for an early wake up perfect ;before I went to bed yesterday night.

I had setup TWO alarms to make sure that even if one fails to disturb me the other one will definitely disturb my room mate Spar and he will defnitely slap me on my back for having disturbed his sleep and hence i will wake up having received a blow on my back.lol.. the idea was perfect."Spar sorry for putting you in trouble. :-)"

I just couldn't accept that my plan failed.I decided to do an RCA on the issue before brushing.I checked my mobile alarm if it had belled at the scheduled time.The alarm was fine.What else was the problem..??

And then I saw the villan abut the range bar flashing at me "Slient mode".

My poor gadget must have vibrated his gut out in its desperate attempt to wake me up..!!

The interesting fact about bad news is that they never stay single.I realized that when Raphel came up to me and said "Da.. I don't think we can go by train this time to Ekm..the tatkal tickets are sold out..!!"

"Oh..man this is Catastrophe..!!" I replied back.

Sometimes you feel that nothing turns out right even when you do it right.I was brooding on this philosophy when Riddi commanded "Man go get a shower.We're getting late for office.I won't wait if it gets beyond 10.20"

Amma says that a good clean shower can wash away your worries make you fresh all day.Since the geyser had gone for a toss,my shower was literally a shivering one.It was after the shower that I realized that I forgot to brush.!!Damn ..!!

After that mix-match daily routine session I finally reached office holding the faith that no more bad news is on the cards for me today.But.. as I said good news comes single but bad news ain't; they have company..

ADP our new time keeping system was the villian this time.PROCRASTINATION my noble virtue made me succumb this time too.  God..  I fail to stick to my resolutions.I should have filled my leave application yesterday morning itself, but my dear friend Mr PROCRASTINATION convinced me to ignore ADP even on knowing that today the ADP system will be cut and that means I will not be credited with 3 days salary on the paycheque this time.!

NO MORE BAD NEWS PLEASE.. I will take the remaining on some other day..!!

Monday Morning Blues..!!

How many of you wake up on Monday mornings craving for a holiday..??

....Is that a smile on your face..!! 

Cheers mate you are of my kind :P

So tell me what makes you sad on Mondays..?

Is it the inertia to get up from bed before 9.. 

or is it the midday naps that you'll miss on Mondays to Fridays.. 

or is it the PROCRASTINATION, the virtue of the wise, which made you pile up all the pending works to Monday.. 

or is it the bundle of surprise in your OUTLOOK inbox.. 

or is it the weekly status meetings on Monday afternoon.. 

or is it the "Mondayitis" because of an unforgettable weekend.. :P 

To be very frank my problem is a mix of all these topped wit the saddest of the ingredients, the "TIMELESSNESS"..You may wonder what Timelessness means.. :) yeah.. that's a surprise..after pepsticide the next word which is to be added to The Oxford Dictionary and that too coined by a Keralaite is TIMELESSNESS.You will get to know the real meaning of it in a couple of weeks from now lol...

I try to pose a smile on my face every Monday morning but don't know why.. i fail miserably in doing that.Check out the stress lines that you have on your face the next time you look yourself at the mirror and if possible count the number of lines.I bet the number of lines will be proportional to  the number of Monday mornings.. :)but this is applicable only to the unmarried SINGLES..

GOD.. if Monday was Friday then I would've stayed young forever..!!

Don't know what surprises are in store for me this week.. "Dear surprise box.. you can beat me.. you can break me.. but you cannot CHANGE ME..!!"